semenjak cuti, tido jadi tak normal. asik tido subuh subuh subuh. peak moment macam ni kena bebel banyak-banyak so that bile baca balik esok, garu kepala, ape benda yang aku tulis smalam? haha layankan. ok so, bad news dulu. jungle mati petang tadi............................ fidah jangan dwell lama-lama pasal benda ni. ok good news, herm let see, ohhh aku dah gemuk! blergh. ape yang good news nye. tak good news langsung mama cakap aku obsess dgn weight aku. sume benda tak bole makan. tapi kalau aku obsess, kenapa gemuk je lagi? sebab no self control. aku rasa sampai tua aku takkan stop conscious dengan berat badan. sebenarnye rimas gile keadaan macam ni, diet sini sana. tapi tak dapat nak buat pa la sebab bila gemuk, sedihhhh. kawan aku cakap aku ada ciri-ciri anorexia, nampak diri sendiri gemuk. tak ok. aku maksudkan aku nampak diri aku sebenarnye bukan la gemuk yang obese tu, cuma berisi. nak turun skett je lagi. jap memang sick dengar aku ckp pasal bende ni, tapi nak buat cane, aku dah progressively obsess. haha ayat tak leh blah. xpe. sebenarnya aku asik ckp dri tadi pasal weight issue because aku makan chicken chop tadi. orang cakap, sesal dahulu pendapatan, sesal kemudian sesat jalan. eh? layankan aje.

aku nak tuka tema page ni. tapi masalahnye, tak reti pakai photoshop. haha. teknik aku cuma sedikit, tapi nak result ribut taufan.

bila nak habes hadam makanan ni...

siapa lagi yang belom tido time ni agak-agak... mungkin britney spears. tak pun miley cyrus. blekk. ha mungkin jeslina hashim. eh? layankan aje.

dah kot hadam chicken chop ni...

esok nak pi jogging, makan salad. pastu makan chocolate banyak-banyak! ha amek lepas geram.

ok dah azan subuh. nak ciou dulu. tatas~

 
i miss blogging but for some reasons, i need NOT to blog. maybe i should thicken up my skin a lil bit more just so that i can handle all the stupid responses from misconceptions that some people would give for whatever things being present in my blog. got a lot of time now since i'm on my holidays

changing my theme soon. what should it be? sunrise? beach? deep water? what? maybe... a jar. an empty jar. yeah?

i miss xanga so much. i'm afraid of what my alter ego will be like since it has been a while 'she' didn't get to say anything. hehe. but it's okey. 'she' will behave. roff!

damn i miss this! THIS! thinking out loud.

you know what, i do have the rights to whine about anything and i do have the rights to do it in any ways i like. i'm no angel for you's sake. plus, the 'conformist' seems to be whining and complaining (aka picking up on someone as the joke of the day) most of their life, so yeah, i'm weak against those 'conformist' or should i say, the cool ones. let just take it as if i'm BRAINWASHED to be whiny. you might say i'm playing blame game here but blaming those 'cool conformist' is like the most righteous thing to do for now. so lets be whiny for 4 minutes shall we?

i don't know what's up with some people nowadays. i mean the 'cool' people. they seems to be at every corner of the world. well at least, every corner of my world. don't they get it? you're NOT cool when someone says you are! i mean, i know where i stand and i hope you too. you don't think you're the best damn thing that has happened in the world don't you? so please stop bugging others with your so immature techniques.

ok so there was a girl in the train that day. i was on my way to class at that time. i wasn't trying to look at her AT ALL, since the weather that day was all hot and sunny so it was BEAUTIFUL to look at rather than to stare at some.. err... alien? (i mean ehem, a stranger). so she came in, with two of the most 'handsome' BOYS in the world, and another beautiful-est girl friend of hers. i wasn't looking at her nor her friends, at all. so maybe she thought it was a bit 'harsh' for me to did that considering that she was umm... small...? tiny..? oh yes, BEAUTIFUL. so maybe, MAYBE because of her beautifulness was being ignored by me, she started talking to her friends like they were 5 kilometers far. and what i remembered her saying was, "weh ko ingat tak ada sorang budak perempuan ni perasan lawa? menyampah wey aku tengok dia!!", and then started giggling as if it was cute. well as a stranger to her and her friends, i don't think she was appointing that to me. but then one of her guy friend replied, "sape wey?" and she said, "alar yang pakai baju hijau tu. PERASAN LAWA. GELI aku tengok". i know even if i'm wearing a green top at that time, why would i take it in vain? right? so i don't really think she meant me even though i am wearing a green top at that time. there were some other things she said but i'm cutting it short. when i was about to go out of the train, suddenly she coughed like she was chocking on something and seriously, i was about to help her in anyway i can if she really choked on something ha boo haa. but yeah she did not. it was all an act to get my attention (seeker!) because after that, she burst into laugh joined by her 'army'. and right before i stepped out, she SPEAKERED out (she said loudly. excuse me for my slang),"bye budak perasan lawa!". so if i'm not mistaken, i'm the most nearest one with her and her bunch, who was leaving the train and i'm totally the only one who was wearing green top. so no, i don't think i'm being vain to think that she meant ME. even if she fcking denies it, i still think she meant me. i'm not paranoid, i'm a human with intuitions and even though sometimes i got the wrong impression on things, i OFTEN got it right.

ok so here is my ultimate moment in whining this up. lets forget the whole story and focus on things i'm about to ask and say:
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? i don't even know you oh you sweet lil thing. i mean, seriously. i don't even have a clue of what could be the reason of you behaving the way you did. what was the thing that sadden you so much until you have to put it to someone else? speak up and give me some clue. it doesn't work out in one direction my dear. you want things to be A-Ok don't you? so tell me, what is it? why are you so COLD? i mean don't take it on me, i've my reasons to be cold. but i'm sure it's not the same reason as yours.. hmm? ala lala... kenapa tu? cuba btau sket. you know, you by doing that, by provoking people the way you did, just solved out the type of operation involves in my theory of a naive killer:
a naive killer is a result of an equation that has a lot of PLUS in it. thank YOU! you solved it out for me.
thank god it was me you were picking up on. if it was some other temperamental person with temper tantrums... well you tell me. even if you're not dead, your teeth would probably be chipped off by an angry fist. or maybe just a plain bitch slap? either way, provoking people like you did is NOT cool, by any means. even Blown the dog knows how to provoke people without adding any plus in the equation. i may not kill or harm anyone, but like anyone else, like YOU, i'm a ticking bomb as well. now where's the L O V E dear 'conformist'?

*if you think this is for you, please don't read in vain. i'm sure you got it wrong. it's for you. no not you the first, the second YOU.

one of my anti-social getaways. during one of the night where i just don't feel like sleeping. aku ada banyak vids macam ni dalam laptop aku.
after all, "Isn't it nice to have a computer that can talk to you?". but for my case, a camera that listens!